After a decade of confusion and spiritual darkness Cannabis re-opened my eyes and and my heart to God’s goodness. I was 13 when the man firing the gun said, “Mike, the next one is in your motherf***ing head.” That’s a lot for 13 year old. I abandoned myself to the Christian church after that incident. The God part was good but the spiritual indoctrination drove me out of my mind. I was so entangled in guilt, shame, and apocalyptic obsessions that I could no longer feel/find God… only this extreme end-times narrative that turned me into a desperately fearful human being.
Years later, after intensely skewed Christian indoctrination/abuse I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, etc.. it seemed my life was moment by moment consumed with psychological/emotional torment and confusion… until cannabis. Cannabis put a space between me and the thought patterns – cannabis momentarily freed me from the self-torture from my own thoughts. It felt like a miracle to me. Now, through regular intentional use I am finding continued gradual healing (psychologically, emotionally, spiritually). I still have a long way to go but this plant has given me so much of my life back and allowed many past traumas to heal. It is good medicine.