I have a birth defect in my spine in the lower neck area because of this I have seizures

I'm a recovered alcoholic of 15 years, I suffer from depression and have had a quad heart bypass. Needless to say I am on disability and can't take any pain meds. It's a daily struggle and I've attempted suicide twice I take way too many meds and have 7 different dr's that can't seem to help. Plus the side effects are horrible