on 05.04.2019

Wow. Ran into this site while reading the article in faithwire. This is a tough one. I’m 50 this year and started smoking herb when I was about 9 or 10 as a child growing up in the Bronx NY. I began to smoke it because it was so common in my surroundings (& probably because it was forbidden and taboo). I smoked the vast majority of those years since, taking occasional breaks lasting from weeks up to a year on one occasion. I always enjoyed it, I felt it made me a deeper thinker, and even felt more passionate regarding the things of God. I found Christian apologetics when I was a teenager and my “habit” (because I do believe I developed a need for it) persisted. I was always conflicted about it, which is why I would go through bouts of quitting, only to be drawn back to it not long after. I have both positive things to attribute to it, but also negative. I smoked through my adolescence, and I’m not sure that was a good thing at such a crucial juncture in my mental development. I find myself to be painfully shy. Even at this age. Almost crippling shyness. I can play along and do the social thing if I need to, but find I live more inside my head than is probably normal or healthy. I often wonder if all my Cannabis use had anything to with it. And what My personality would be like had I never smoked. I’m an introvert and as such am pretty artistic. Always have been. Don’t know if that was a byproduct of smoking or if it’s my natural inclination either. When I stop smoking I definitely feel a difference in my creative output. When I was smoking I was very prolific as an artist. Without Cannabis I find very little inspiration or motivation to create. I don’t want to go on too long here so I’ll try to sum it up. Upon honest reflection, I decided to stop primarily because of guilt. I am a true believer in Christ. And I don’t want to reflect badly on him. I see the world going in one direction and I know that as Christ followers we shouldn’t be letting the world lead us or influence us, yet, I do see the benefits that moderate and/or systematic use can have on people including myself. I was never a smoke til I’m retarded smoker. It was what I would call a “tweak”. To give me a shot of alertness or motivation to tackle tasks (contrary to what many say.. that it kills motivation). I have a 14 year old daughter and a 10 year old son as well and I’m not sure I would approve of them picking this up. Also. Doesn’t the Lord expect us to operate In This life with our God given faculties? These are some of the questions I’ve wrestled with. I had a nephew die of cancer at 21 and a niece die suddenly of a freak pregnancy issue at 25. Both within the last 2 years. Those 2 events were the impetus to my quitting the use of marijuana. I just felt it was time and wanted to live purely in my walk with the Lord. It’s been about a year since I stopped, and I think about it a lot. It’s almost like I’ve lost something. Even though my conscience is clear as I don’t have other bad habits. (I conquered porn many years ago). I don’t curse, I do still lust (what normal guy doesn’t) but I don’t have any real hang ups or sin based strongholds. I feel good about that.. BUT do miss my occasional tweaking.. but I feel I have to conceal it because it’s not considered “right” .. especially for believers. And I don’t even drink. Perhaps a beer or two at a social occasion. Just don’t have a taste for it. I’m very conflicted as you can see. The last few years I was getting tweaked using a vape pen. It was very clean. And at the rate I would use, one cartridge would last me a couple of months. I ran into this article and I’m like.. is this the enemy tempting me?. or the Lord saying “it’s ok.. It’s a man made taboo”.lol. And we all know the more something is repeated, the more it is accepted as truth. So I don’t really know what the truth is with this situation. It IS a drug. And drugs shouldn’t be abused. But does an occasional “tweak” qualify as abuse? I’m still a little lost on this matter. at this point in my life I’ve heard all the pros and cons on the issue. I’ve seen articles that link it to psychosis and schizophrenia and others that hail its positive effects. So yea. I think conversation is needed on this topic. I still can’t see the use of Cannabis EVER being accepted by the church or Christian community, even if it is widely legalized in the US. So. Like I originally said. This is a tough one. Still not sure where I stand on it. I lean towards it being wrong mainly because it’s a form of intoxication.. and the implicit condoning of its use to the younger amongst us. Not sure that’s healthy. Looking forward to reading and maybe learning more.

What Do You Think About Cannabis?