Rachel
on 12.31.2022

I am now 53 and was put on antidepressants and other pharmaceutical drugs at just 18 and struggled for over 3 decades on these soul destroying drugs. These awful yet perfectly legal drugs have caused huge damage in my life nearly killing me. The concoction of these ‘legal’ drugs cut me off spiritually from my Christian faith. It altered my thinking, my behaviour and the side effects had me in permanent lethargy, weight gain and cravings for sugar and alcohol. These are known side effects with Prozac and other mind altering brands that have been shown in recent medical journals to have been based on an unproven theory. So at age 50 having had these drugs ruin my life I got off them cold turkey. This included codeine, paracetamol, quetiapine for manic depressive episodes and antidepressants. After about 6 months I lost the excess weight but developed a problem with sleeping as the bipolar meds used to knock me out every night. I had lost my ability to sleep normally. I used cannabis to ease the anxiety symptoms as well as the depressive symptoms that had plagued me from the age of around 11. During this time I found my faith in Jesus which had been dormant for many years. However the prejudice surrounding its use in the Christian faith and the sometimes condemning attitude and references to Occult have had me in a spin. But I have to say that it has helped me enormously to get on with my life and has assisted in so many of my creative gifts that have come back after over 35 years of feeling spiritually cut off, lacking in creativity and oftentimes in such despair the very pharmaceutical drugs became an Avenue for suicide. An easy way out. I never succeeded despite trying it several times. I believe Jesus saved me. The pointing fingers are out however and it has worried me greatly but I have been able to function with cannabis, I feel incredibly close to God. I write my own worship, paint pictures with spiritual meaning and have had beautiful encounters with him. I don’t use to accelerate sin or go to some seedy dive, have never took any other recreational drugs but I have had major issues with alcohol in the past following spells of PTSD as well as the ever enduring anxiety. I am a deeply sensitive person in many ways and struggle to socialise at times when I am very depressed. I have continually prayed about this issue and I am still a bit concerned but mainly because of the attitude of many Christians regarding these matters. I have cut down to one small joint a day. Only the Lord really knows my journey but I would love to hear others’ stories.

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