I have a relationship with the Holy Spirit ! Which to be honest with you I feel like has been dwindling down since I’ve stopped the use of mild thc and high cbd use . I am in pain and I have no energy or strength and so, therefore, it affects my mental and emotional state.

I know that sounds crazy to you but honestly it does something for my pain and my psyche and my mental/ emotional state. But because of the ways of the world and the standards of the church not to mention the history of my parents , siblings , and my son , I freak out and think that I’m doing something wrong and since I haven’t been partaking in it I feel like I’m dying again …. what does this mean …. does this mean that I’m not a child of God? I know I shouldn’t question that because my convictions are still proof that I am.

It’s such a controversial subject . Sometimes I feel like I can praise the Lord and be so thankful to him with a low dose of it because I feel strengthened physically and mentally and then if I get a little too much I feel this heavy dark presence over me and I feel like I’m being tormented and there is an evil presence. Is this because of false guilt or the product itself ? I know you don’t really know the answers to these questions . And I even fear a lil , opening up to you about this but I know you love me unconditionally.